Sample Pilegesh Agreement

B”H
Today I got an email from the main posek (rabbinic adviser) of pilegesh blog who is a dayan (rabbinic judge)specializing in gitin (Jewish family law) living in Jerusalem with a sample pilegesh agreement he designed for Jewish couples.

Dear Ariel:

Atatched is a proposed pilegesh agreement. Of course
certain details need to be personalized, and certain
options need to be selected.

I am open to criticisms and suggestions for
improvement.
EmesL’Yaakov

On the 29th day of the month of Elul in the year 5767 from the creation of the world, Reuven ben Shim`on Smith took Esther bas Ya`akov Broide as his pilegesh.

In connection therewith they both declared1 as follows:

“We are entering a pilegesh relationship according to the laws of the Torah. All aspects of this relationship will be governed by the laws of the Torah as interpreted by our sages of blessed memory (Chaza”l).

We specifically declare that this relationship is not intended to be a marriage relationship, neither according to Jewish Law nor according (not erusin and not nissuin, not chuppah and not kiddushin) such that not get (Jewish religious divorce) is required when this relationship ends and no payment of c’tuvah (payment on dissolution of a marriage) is required.

We specifically make a t’nai (condition of the agreement) that if in fact the halacha (Jewsih Law) requires a get to end a pilegesh relationship, that this relationship is not even a pilegesh relationship, but rather just close friends.”

The parties agreed that the following general terms will govern their pilegesh relationship, which terms are applicable to all pilegesh relationships:

1. During the term of the pilegesh relationship, the aforementioned Esther will not have a sexual relationship with any man other than the aforementioned Reuvein, and for an additional 91 days after the relationship has ended (including the day of the break up), i.e. she will not have a relationship with someone else until the 92nd day.

2. The aforementioned Esther will go to the mikve (ritual bath) on a regular basis just as if she were a married woman, with all of the stringencies, laws and customs thereof. The couple will properly observe all of the laws of Jewish Family Purity (Taharath Hamishpachah). The parties understand that the Halachah about using birth control for them is the same as if they were married.

3. Any children born from this relationship are legitimate, and have the same rights to inherit, to receive love and care, etc. as any other children.

4. All siblings and half siblings will be kept informed of each other’s existence, and no efforts will be made to hide them from each other. Children of the relationship will be told who their father is.

5. Neither party will tell others that the relationship is a marriage relationship.

6. Each party will treat the other with proper respect at all times.

7. Neither party is the master of the other, therefore all of their shared activities will be by mutual consent.

8. The parties will conduct this relationship and all of their activities in accordance with Jewish Law (halacha).

9. If after the relationship has ended, despite the specific declaration that this is no a marriage relationship, a rabbi significant to the future of either party requires a get, then both parties agree that they will make all efforts necessary to actuate a get, and neither side will require any payment of any kind in order to agree to such a get. The cost of the get will be born by the one who wants it.

10. Neither party will assert any rights to the property of the other, neither while they are together, nor after they end their relationship. Neither party will ever make any claims of alimony or palimony except as may specifically be provided for in this agreement.

11. No property will be deemed jointly owned unless it was specifically agreed that it is joint property.

The parties also agreed to the following specific terms:

1. The pilegesh relationship will be in effect until the 29th day of Elul 5768 or until ended sooner by mutual agreement.

[alternative 1. The pilegesh relationship will be in effect until either party declares the end to the relationship.]

2. During the term of the relationship Reuvein will provide living accommodations for Esther as follows: ____________________________________

Or 2. During the terms of the relationship, Esther will provide her own living accommodations.

3. During the term of the relationship, Reuvein will provide support for Esther’s living needs including food and clothing as follows: ______________________________

Or 3. During the terms of the relationship Esther will provide for her own support.

4. Any disputes arising from this agreement will be decided by the Beith Din of the Beith Hora’ah of Monsey New York or their successors. [Or choose other Beith Din]

Or 4. Any disputes arising from this agreement will be decided by Rabbi Ploni or another rabbi selected by him, or if he is not available by Rabbi Almoni.

Signed: Yitschak ben Avraham Terachovitz, witness

Signed Shelom ben David Yishaisky, witness

And we the parties sign as a further indication that we have agreed to all of the conditions mentioned above:

Reuven ben Shim`on Smith

Esther bas Ya`akov Broide

1 It is probably preferable that this declaration be made in front of two kosher witnesses, and that the two kosher witnesses sign the pilegesh agreement.